Thursday, January 28, 2010

Accomplishment takes hard work

I get really frustrated by people that don't grasp that life is hard and that hard work IS necessary to make their dreams come true. You know.. the people who think they are the victim and nothing ever goes their way. They think everyone is SO much better off than them. These people generally feel entitled as well to an "easy break" or to receive help from others. They want other people to feel bad for them because of their lack of success in one area or another of their life. And sure, there are people in this world that got the longer straw in the draw and have a pretty "easy" life.. but even the easy lives still have hard times and most of those people have to work for the things they want. I get very frustrated by those that feel entitled and feel like they DESERVE for people to give them things when they did nothing to deserve it (no matter what their status is in the class structure by the way.) I also feel frustrated when people who are bitter about their lives project these feelings onto you, because they feel like you have everything and you aren't appreciating their lack of having what you have.

I get frustrated because I don't have everything and I work really hard for the the things that I've accomplished (or have) in my life. I was raised in a household where rewards were given for hard work but were not given if you didn't accomplish the goal. My dad assigned us chores to do and we were to do these particular chores until we had "mastered" the chore and then could be relieved of the duty. I can't tell you how many nights I was SO frustrated because I would wash dishes and my dishes weren't clean enough for him. Glasses still had spots or bowls had residue on the outside of the bowl. But looking back, we didn't have a dishwasher and thus our dishes HAD to be clean by hand washing.. so he had a very valid point. We had the same attitude towards education. I was very self motivated, but my dad always wanted more for me. I would come home with a 94 on my report card and he would push me to make a 96 in the next six week period. There was never a question of IF I would go to college, it was always where will I go and what will I study. Every lesson that my dad taught me was how to be independent, and how to be self sufficient and how to do things for myself, rather than depend on someone else to do it for me.

I grew up in a very poor household, but looking back, I don't feel like I'm entitled to anything now. I knew growing up and (I know now) that I would only be rewarded if I worked hard and stayed focused. I'm not perfect and there have most likely been times that I have been a brat and felt like I deserved something I didn't actually deserve, but overall I really try push myself to work hard to see success. I push myself to achieve the "unattainable things in life" because I know that I can accomplish anything through hard work because my Dad taught me that lesson.

To be frank, I have been noticing some people in my life that DO feel entitled and play the victim card. These "victims" think people who "have everything" should give to them and when the people don't, people are spending too much time thinking about themselves. I started thinking about it and I didn't feel like I could relate. I felt angry because these "victims" don't do the things necessary to have success in their life. When they have to face a challenge to meet a goal, they complain about the struggles rather than focus on the GOAL. And then their goal gets pushed off because they complained about struggling rather than buckled down and just DID IT. 

And so I felt angry, threatened and frustrated that these "victims" don't take the necessary steps to "have everything". And I started to feel a little 'holier than thou' because damnit, I work for my goals and I'm NOT like these people. That is.. until I started thinking about my health journey. And then it hit me that I TOTALLY play the victim pretty often when it comes to weight loss. So I came down off my pedestal and really started to think about how I feel when I'm "doing the right things" regarding weight loss. Why is it that after 2-3 days of perfect eating and exercise I step on that scale and EXPECT the scale to have dropped 5 pounds? Why do I want to cry and give up when that scale actually shows the same weight or maybe even a pound up? I want to yell at that scale and say, "Scale how dare you say that number. Look at all the hard work I've done the past three days!" But in reality, three days is nothing. I didn't gain 80 pounds in three days did I? No, I gained 80 pounds in 6 years. I didn't even gain 5 pounds in 3 days, so why do I play that victim card and expect to be rewarded so soon for good work?

Sure, growing up I was rewarded for my hard work. But it didn't always happen immediately after I did this hard work. I didn't get rewarded for every day I woke up and went to school, did I? I didn't get rewarded when I scored an A on a quiz either. I DID get rewarded at the end of a six week period or the end of the year when ALL my good habits paid off and I made that A in that class. I have to view weight loss the way that I do school (because school is the one thing that I'm wholeheartedly committed to). In school I didn't make 100s on everything I turned in. I had bad days. But over time, the good days outweighed the bad and it paid off. I made that A. It's the same thing here folks. We will all slip up. We will all have bad days. But the more we are "present" and work hard, the more pay off we are ultimately going to see.

I know I have these type of revelations every so often, but really I feel like it's just a new way of approaching this journey. Since I've committed myself to healthy living for the rest of my life.. every now and then I need to be reminded of WHY I'm doing this. And I need to be reminded of WHAT the benefits are and sometimes that requires you to look at things a different way. I believe in hard work. I believe in setting goals. And I believe the only way to accomplish your goals is through hard work. This applies to my weight loss as well and I refuse to be the victim with weight loss. I refuse to feel entitled to lose weight. I also refuse to be upset when other's don't have to work as hard as I do to be thin. Thin does not mean healthy and that's something that often gets lost in my thought process.

So for right now, I'm going to view weight loss the same way as I do school. I'm going to remember it takes a little work every day and you won't always be rewarded for that work on a day to day basis. But, one day I WILL be rewarded and my hard work WILL pay off and I WILL accomplish the goals I have set for myself. And I will probably still be upset with those "victims" out there but I will not feel like a hypocrite because I'm committed to stop acting this way and to work hard for the things I want in life.

Do you believe in hard work?


  1. Did you write this before or after I wrote my blog?? Doesn't matter... Good stuff.

    I firmly believe that "struggle produces character," that people who grew up w/ a hard work ethic & not a silver spoon are the "successful" ones; the achievers. I know there are exceptions, but as a child of depression-era parents, I didn't have to struggle like my folks did b/c they didn't want me to. And the result? Well, my self-assessment is lazy & unproductive (not down on myself, but just the truth). I didn't learn what it was to work hard for something - to fight for something. And I miss that.

    To honestly answer your closing question... I believe in working hard enough to get by...

  2. YES i DO! Even if it means finding alternate ways to get to the end. Go get'um girl!