Namaste. I hate yoga.

A little spark advice (from my spark calendar today):

"Say no to negative goals. If your goals say don't, never or stop, reword them. Focus on what you CAN do (like eat 3 fruit daily), not what you CAN'T do (eat sweets). You'll be more motivated and successful!"

This is EXCELLENT! Thanks spark!

Also, I am slated to talk about yoga today because I'm having major problems with it. I started doing yoga about two months ago when I joined LA fitness. I decided to start doing yoga because I don't have great balance and I am NOT flexible. Clearly these are two areas of my health I want to improve and I hear that yoga is the best solution. Also, (please don't lecture), I don't do strength training right now so yoga is the closest I get to a good strength workout.

(I KNOW, I KNOW, I need to do strength. I'm working on this...)

My gym offers two night yoga classes - Monday and Wednesday. At first, I tried going to both classes each week. I wasn't sparing any of my other workouts, so twice a week yoga meant 8 workouts a week. That wasn't happening. It's a lot less pressure for tell myself to go once a week instead of twice, so I brought it down to once a week. Then, you know, things came up and I didn't go. Last night I finally went for the first time probably a month.

IT. WAS. HARD.

Seriously, what did I expect? I haven't done it in a month, it's going to be hard. But, last night was only the third class I attended. Yeah, my body still sucks at being flexible. I have all the right excuses for why yoga is SO hard for me, but yet I'm having such a hard time believing I'll ever improve with yoga.

I've tried to relate it to running and realize HOW hard running was at first. And sure that's true, but I wasn't running for an hour at first. This yoga class I attend is one hour. One hour where all I do is mentally bash myself because I can't do what everyone else is doing. Then comes the pain. I know I shouldn't complete a pose to the point of pain, but there are so many things that cause my body to cramp up. My hips are the worst. I tried to do a side leg lift (one knee on the ground the other out to the side) and my hip just froze and cramped. We also had to sit in a backwards "W" last night and I can't do that - like, literally I can't do that. I am missing cartilage in my hips, so sitting in that position causes bone on bone contact and I was told from childhood that I should not sit that way.

It's frustrating. I want to give up every time I'm that class. But the competitive and ambitious side of me wants to stick it out because I'm not a quitter. And the healthy side of me wants to stick it out because it's unsatisfactory that I have no flexibility.

So, dear yogis, what is my problem? Is it that I am just not flexible and I will improve with each class? Or is my body just not meant to move in those ways? The problem with my hip has never, ever, bothered me other than not being able to bend and move in certain ways. I want to believe that the side leg lifts that I have such problems with is a matter of my hip flexors being weak. How long until these cramps go away? Should I be doing like 10 minutes of yoga every night before bed on top of this hour long class once a week? If so, which poses should I do?

Seriously, I'm lost on this and I'm frustrated and I know I'm being negative about it and I'm trying to stop. I just want to be flexible and have a stronger core. Why is this so hard!?!?!

Namaste. Right now, I hate yoga!

(hate is a strong word, but it's appropriate to describe my frustration at this point)